I know just about every single one of my posts have recently begin with an apology of not keeping up with the blog. It's so hard to really do anything these days. Working 40 hours a week, being a mom, planning a wedding and managing to squeeze some sleep in there somewhere is NO easy task. So this may be pretty lengthy, but it's worth it.
CAIGE: Oh this adorable spitting-image of Jake has me wrapped around his itty bitty finger. It's so true what they say: Your really don't know true love until you have a child. Being a mom is the absolute best feeling in the WHOLE world! I honestly cannot remember what life was like before him. He's growing like a weed. I swear he grows an inch almost everyday. He is comfortably wearing size 9 month clothes already! And he's barely four months old! And to top it off, he rolled over for the first time last weekend and he is already starting to push himself up on his knees. I give it a month before he attempts crawling.
JAKE: He has been doing great! Busy with the band lately. They're getting ready for a short tour (which I think has been narrowed down to 5 days now). It started off being 10, but things just kept falling through. This is a little bittersweet for me. I know it's going to be a blast for them, and it's going to get their name out there, which they need. But I'm also a little bummed they'll be gone. No one likes spending time away from their significant other, but sometimes a little time apart is good for each other. I know how dependent I can be at times, but sometimes I need to be a little more independent. No one likes being alone, but I support him in all his endeavours and adventures, whatever they may be.
And as for me...I think I'm doing about as well as I can. I severely underestimated how hard it is working full time and being a mom. I applaud you moms with your careers and managing to keep your chaos to a dull roar, but I'm managing. It is hard being away from Caige and Jake. With Jake's work schedule, we maybe get to spend two waking hours a day with each other. I come home from work about 6:00 and then around 8:00 we're usually heading to bed. That is why I savour our weekends. Lately we haven't been doing anything except staying at home. I love it, because then I can be selfish and I don't have to share either of my boys.
We're currently planning the wedding, which is only a month away! I do apologize if you weren't invited, we're honestly trying to keep it as small as possible. Mostly family and a few friends. Don't think we aren't considering you a friend, just times are tough, and weddings aren't cheap. And neither is being a parent, so bear with us.
I will admit, I'm not one to get stressed easily, but I've been stressing major these past few weeks, and I'm sure it's only going to get worse until the wedding day. I don't know why I'm so frantic and stressed (I'm sure I don't show it, but I sure do feel it!), but I guess it's just the control freak inside of me. I know things are going to be perfect, and I don't want them to be, I guess it's just a combination of anxiety and excitement. Honestly, I just want the next month to fast forward to that day, and then let that day go in slow motion.
I'll quit my whining/daydreaming now and let you get on with your day. I'll post some updated pictures later :)
Friday, June 8, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Picture Perfect
I took some pictures of Caige a few days ago, and I loved doing the photo shoot with him! It's actually making me want to get more into infant photography!
Here's some of those pictures! (unedited)
Here's some of those pictures! (unedited)
2 months
I can't believe that Caige is TWO MONTHS old already! Time has honestly flown by, it's crazy!
I know I haven't been good at blogging anything since his birth, but being a full time working mom is definitely not the easiest, but somehow I'm managing!
Anyways, I absolutely LOVE being a mom. It is the greatest job I've ever had. Caige is the sweetest and happiest baby, so it makes the adjustment easier. I love him so much, it's ridiculous! I can't imagine my life without him, and I can't remember what life was like without him.
Jake also loves being a dad, and he absolutely wonderful at it. He's so patient, and gets so excited over the smallest things that Caige does. He's recently started smiling (A LOT) and coo's all the time. He loves laying on the floor with daddy, cooing and kicking his legs fast and hard. This little guy is going to be rolling over in no time!
I know I haven't been good at blogging anything since his birth, but being a full time working mom is definitely not the easiest, but somehow I'm managing!
Anyways, I absolutely LOVE being a mom. It is the greatest job I've ever had. Caige is the sweetest and happiest baby, so it makes the adjustment easier. I love him so much, it's ridiculous! I can't imagine my life without him, and I can't remember what life was like without him.
Jake also loves being a dad, and he absolutely wonderful at it. He's so patient, and gets so excited over the smallest things that Caige does. He's recently started smiling (A LOT) and coo's all the time. He loves laying on the floor with daddy, cooing and kicking his legs fast and hard. This little guy is going to be rolling over in no time!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
"Happy Birthday!"
Well ladies and gents, he's finally here. I'm sure all of you have already seen the pictures and updates on my Facebook page, so I apologize if some of the pictures are repeats. But my intention for Caige's arrival post is to not necessarily announce his birth (which was two weeks ago), but more or less to tell you his birth story. Bear with me if it is a little long and drug out, but it is quite an awesome story!
February 10th
11:30 p.m.
Jake and I finally headed to bed. The next day was the day I was scheduled to be induced, and we were both ecstatic. I could only imagine how beautiful our little boy was going to be, and that excitement had stayed with me until my head hit the pillow. All of a sudden, the excitement was gone, and worry set it. I knew childbirth was going to hurt, but I didn't know how badly. I kept thinking of worse case scenarios, my body not wanting to actually give birth, and then I end up having a C-Section, which wasn't that big of a deal, because I really, REALLY want to meet our son, but I want to experience actually giving birth.
Jake could sense my worry and we talked for a little while before drifting off to sleep. He rubbed my back, held me close and reassured me that everything was going to be just fine. I knew everything was going to be fine, but our lives were going to change and never be the same after tomorrow. I wasn't scared of change...or was I? My fears felt petty and cheap. I knew my doubts were selfish. I put them out of my mind and tried to sleep.
February 11th
2:15 a.m.
I hate waking up in the middle of the night, when something BIG is happening the next day. I honestly debated getting out of bed then, but I knew I needed to get as much sleep as I could, seeing how I would probably not get a good night's rest for a long...LONG time.
4:47 a.m.
I woke up to the sound of rain. The window in our bedroom was cracked open slightly, and there was a slight drizzle outside. The rain calmed me. I felt very at ease, and was ready to see what the day had in store for me. My alarm was set to go off at 5:15 a.m. (our check-in time at the hospital was 7:00 a.m.), but I decided to get up anyways. I took a long, hot shower, and just tried to relax. I felt some cramping in my lower abdomen throughout the morning, which I just figured was Caige just moving around, reminding me again that hopefully, if things went smoothly, I was going to be able to meet our little bundle of joy.
The cramping was a little more intense at different times. Nothing significant, but it took my breath away a few times. Jake got up and made us an awesome breakfast, which we ate in our bathroom and just talked about our excitement.
6:30-7:00 a.m.
We got in the car with everything we needed (both of our hospital/overnight bags, car seat, clothes for Caige to wear home, things to occupy us while we were waiting for things to progress, etc.). The drive felt like it took forever, even though the hospital is only 20 minutes away. We drove slow and held hands until we got there. I didn't realize it, but my grip kept getting tighter and tighter on his hand as we got closer to our destination. This was it. We were officially going to become parents!
We walked in the front doors of the hospital, and checked in. They had us sit in a waiting room for a few minutes until my room was ready. We were escorted by our nurse to our room and settled in. I changed out of my clothes, into my hospital gown, and waited.
7:30 a.m.
The nursing staff strapped the fetal and contraction monitors to my belly (which were rather uncomfortable by the way!) and started typical triage procedures. Temperature, blood pressure, heart, lungs, etc. My mom showed up and was there as a second support to myself and Jake. I felt way more at ease with my mom there. And again...we waited.
8:00 a.m.
The beginning of my induction was going to start with a small pill being inserted into my cervix called 'Prostaglandin' to soften things up and hopefully start dilating on my own, which I hadn't been doing. At my check-up the day before, I was only dilated to a 2 1/2. The nurse checked to see where I was at, and to our surprise, I was dilated to a 3! And I had opted to not have my doctor stretch my cervix like she had already done two or three times. The nurse informed me that due to my uterus contracting too much on it's own, they would have to skip the pill, and call my doctor to see what she would suggest we do next.
My doctor arrived a few minutes later, checked me herself, and then told me she was going to break my water and then we would wait to see what happened. I felt the pressure of her hand, and then a big gush of warm fluid. It literally felt as if I had wet myself. And with every contraction I had, and every movement Caige made, more and more fluid found it's way out.
Slow and steady contractions began to occur, and pain really kicked in. I'm not one to say that I have a high pain tolerance, but I definitely will admit that I don't. But I wanted to experience as much as I could. I had decided that I was in fact, going to get the epidural when it became too unbearable, and I wanted the nursing staff to let me know when it was getting close to the point where paid medication could not be administered. They were great about monitoring that for me.
11:30 a.m.
Jake's mom had arrived about an hour or so before. The pain from the contractions had become so intense, and so painful, that I was about ready to throw in the towel. In my room, I had a jetted tub in the bathroom, and I called the nurse to let her know that I wanted to soak in it for a little while and try to relax. The nurse ran the water for me, and I changed into my bathing suit (I was a little shy being naked around mine and Jake's moms. It just didn't feel necessary). The warm water felt awesome on my back and legs. The jets hit in all the right spots, but once a contraction came on, the water seemed to make things worse. The heat from the water made my face hot, and each time I tried to breath through the contractions, I felt like I was going to be sick. (at this time, my contractions were hitting in the '10' range. Which the monitor only measured to '12'.) Jake had been doing so well with trying to comfort me and reminding me to relax and breathe during the contractions, but the pain was so bad I couldn't do it anymore. I know I had initially wanted to go through labor without any pain medication, but I couldn't stand it anymore. I wanted...no, NEEDED the epidural. I got out of the tub and asked the nurse to get things ready for that.
12:00 p.m.
The anesthesiologist finally arrived with everything he needed to relieve my pain. Luckily I was still able to get it. The nurse had checked me prior, and I was dilated to 4 cm.
The nurse raised the bed and had me sit on the edge of the bed, with Jake sitting in front of me. I put my feet on his knees to balance, and the nurse had me put a pillow on my lap, and had my curl myself forward over it. The needle the anesthesiologist was using to insert the catheter into my spine to continuously release the epidural medication was a lot larger than I would have liked. I won't describe the size, but just the fact that he had to poke and prod me six or seven times in order to get the right placement, should give you a good idea of how unendurable life was for me at that moment. My contractions were spiking into the '12' range, so that in conjunction with being stabbed in the spine with a large needle multiple times, does not make for an enjoyable moment. I kept reminding myself to breathe, and tried so hard to fight back tears. I caught myself practically moaning from pain a few times, which I promised myself I was not going to do, but I realized at that point in time, it was uncontrollable. During the midst of this, I caught a glimpse of my mom and Jake's mom in the corner of the room, kneeling on the floor, both looking a little green. As they like to say, they were doing the "Tebow".
Shortly after the catheter was finally in place, snugly between my vertebrae, a tingling sensation came over the lower half of my body and I felt no pain. I felt pressure from the contractions and was able to move my legs (though they felt extremely heavy), but I didn't have any of the 'paralyzing' feelings that I had read about so many women experiencing from their epidurals. After that, I no longer felt the pain of my contractions, and was able to sit back, relax, and happily sip my apple juice.
12:30 p.m.
My dad finally arrived! And Jake's sister Bailey and her boyfriend Xanti, stepdad, Dave, and Jake's brother Cole and his girlfriend Summer stopped by to say hi and see how things were progressing! Luckily, I was in no pain. My dad wouldn't have handled that well at all! Everyone was kind of in and out of the room at this point getting food, walking the halls and just keeping themselves entertained as we waited.
3:00 p.m.
We were all pretty curious to see how much I had progressed in the last couple hours since the monitor showed my contractions were getting more and more intense, lasting for longer periods of time, and occurring fairly close together. I called the nurse in, she checked me and I was dilated to 9 1/2! Everyone was surprised, as was the nurse! She told me that if I felt more pressure, to call her back in because I could be ready to push soon!
A male nurse that was helping my nurses out, put in his 'two cents' and said that it could be an hour or so before that last 1/2 cm dilate, and another 2 hours of pushing before Caige would be here. Boy, were his statistics clearly not suitable for me. I was fully dilated about 3 minutes later.
3:30 p.m.
My main nurse, Allison, set up my bed for me to start pushing. My doctor had been paged, letting her know that I was ready to push, but that I wasn't close to crowning, so she was on standby. The only people who remained in the room during this time was my mom and dad, Jake and his mom. Allison had Jake stand on the left side of the bed, holding my left leg, and mom was on the right side, with my right leg. The plan was for me to push during my contractions, 3-10 second long pushing intervals, with Jake and my mom simultaneously pushing my knees into my chest. (The awesome thing about my epidural, was I still have the urge to push. I felt everything, except the pain!)
We did these pushing intervals for a good 5-10 minutes or so, and then she immediately told me to stop! Caige was coming a lot faster than we anyone would have guessed, and she needed to page Dr. Fealko to come up right away! The baby was coming, and he wasn't slowing down!
Dr. Fealko arrived 2 minutes later and our pushing commenced. She sat at the foot of the bed, ready to catch Caige and intervene at any moment if she needed to. I could feel him drop lower and lower into the birth canal, and the pressure increased very quickly. It didn't hurt, but I could only imagine the pain I would have felt if I wouldn't have gotten the epidural. Allison was busy behind Dr. Fealko, setting up a sterile station to clean Caige up on after he came out. She was bustling around, counting for me as I pushed, once in a while adding in a 4th, 8 second push in with the normal 3 we were doing.
At one point, Caige's heart rate started to drop, I stopped pushing so Dr. Fealko could monitor it for a minute, but we started right back up.
Next thing I know, while in between pushing intervals, Dr, Fealko smiles at me and says, "He sure does have a lot of hair! Do you want to feel him?" Apparently, he was visible! She told me that his hair could wrap around her finger, as she massaged me to help prevent any tearing from happening as he came out. I declined to reach down and feel him. My hands were locked tightly behind my knees and I was in the zone. I was so focused on my breathing, and pushing, that I couldn't lose focus.
3:57 p.m.
I started pushing again, this time with the 4th interval added, and Caige's head was out! I kept pushing as hard as I could, and Dr. Fealko grabbed his head and told me to look down. His little face was blue (from not being exposed to oxygen, and with one big push, she pulled him out. She quickly unwrapped the umbilical cord from his neck (which was the reason his heart rate had dropped slightly while I was pushing), and cleaned out his mouth and nose so he could take his first breaths. He started to cry. The most beautiful cry I had ever heard. I couldn't help myself, but I bawled. Everyone in the room cried (except hospital staff). Dr. Fealko placed him on my chest, and as she cleaned him she said "Happy Birthday!", and for some reason, her saying that made me cry even more. This gorgeous child, who I had the honor of carrying for 9 months, was mine. I looked at Jake, he had tears in his eyes. He kissed Caige's head, then leaned over and kissed my forehead. This was what we had been waiting for. I have an awesome man by my side, and now a beautiful son to care for, teach, and watch grow.
February 10th
11:30 p.m.
Jake and I finally headed to bed. The next day was the day I was scheduled to be induced, and we were both ecstatic. I could only imagine how beautiful our little boy was going to be, and that excitement had stayed with me until my head hit the pillow. All of a sudden, the excitement was gone, and worry set it. I knew childbirth was going to hurt, but I didn't know how badly. I kept thinking of worse case scenarios, my body not wanting to actually give birth, and then I end up having a C-Section, which wasn't that big of a deal, because I really, REALLY want to meet our son, but I want to experience actually giving birth.
Jake could sense my worry and we talked for a little while before drifting off to sleep. He rubbed my back, held me close and reassured me that everything was going to be just fine. I knew everything was going to be fine, but our lives were going to change and never be the same after tomorrow. I wasn't scared of change...or was I? My fears felt petty and cheap. I knew my doubts were selfish. I put them out of my mind and tried to sleep.
February 11th
2:15 a.m.
I hate waking up in the middle of the night, when something BIG is happening the next day. I honestly debated getting out of bed then, but I knew I needed to get as much sleep as I could, seeing how I would probably not get a good night's rest for a long...LONG time.
4:47 a.m.
I woke up to the sound of rain. The window in our bedroom was cracked open slightly, and there was a slight drizzle outside. The rain calmed me. I felt very at ease, and was ready to see what the day had in store for me. My alarm was set to go off at 5:15 a.m. (our check-in time at the hospital was 7:00 a.m.), but I decided to get up anyways. I took a long, hot shower, and just tried to relax. I felt some cramping in my lower abdomen throughout the morning, which I just figured was Caige just moving around, reminding me again that hopefully, if things went smoothly, I was going to be able to meet our little bundle of joy.
The cramping was a little more intense at different times. Nothing significant, but it took my breath away a few times. Jake got up and made us an awesome breakfast, which we ate in our bathroom and just talked about our excitement.
6:30-7:00 a.m.
We got in the car with everything we needed (both of our hospital/overnight bags, car seat, clothes for Caige to wear home, things to occupy us while we were waiting for things to progress, etc.). The drive felt like it took forever, even though the hospital is only 20 minutes away. We drove slow and held hands until we got there. I didn't realize it, but my grip kept getting tighter and tighter on his hand as we got closer to our destination. This was it. We were officially going to become parents!
We walked in the front doors of the hospital, and checked in. They had us sit in a waiting room for a few minutes until my room was ready. We were escorted by our nurse to our room and settled in. I changed out of my clothes, into my hospital gown, and waited.
7:30 a.m.
The nursing staff strapped the fetal and contraction monitors to my belly (which were rather uncomfortable by the way!) and started typical triage procedures. Temperature, blood pressure, heart, lungs, etc. My mom showed up and was there as a second support to myself and Jake. I felt way more at ease with my mom there. And again...we waited.
8:00 a.m.
The beginning of my induction was going to start with a small pill being inserted into my cervix called 'Prostaglandin' to soften things up and hopefully start dilating on my own, which I hadn't been doing. At my check-up the day before, I was only dilated to a 2 1/2. The nurse checked to see where I was at, and to our surprise, I was dilated to a 3! And I had opted to not have my doctor stretch my cervix like she had already done two or three times. The nurse informed me that due to my uterus contracting too much on it's own, they would have to skip the pill, and call my doctor to see what she would suggest we do next.
My doctor arrived a few minutes later, checked me herself, and then told me she was going to break my water and then we would wait to see what happened. I felt the pressure of her hand, and then a big gush of warm fluid. It literally felt as if I had wet myself. And with every contraction I had, and every movement Caige made, more and more fluid found it's way out.
Slow and steady contractions began to occur, and pain really kicked in. I'm not one to say that I have a high pain tolerance, but I definitely will admit that I don't. But I wanted to experience as much as I could. I had decided that I was in fact, going to get the epidural when it became too unbearable, and I wanted the nursing staff to let me know when it was getting close to the point where paid medication could not be administered. They were great about monitoring that for me.
11:30 a.m.
Jake's mom had arrived about an hour or so before. The pain from the contractions had become so intense, and so painful, that I was about ready to throw in the towel. In my room, I had a jetted tub in the bathroom, and I called the nurse to let her know that I wanted to soak in it for a little while and try to relax. The nurse ran the water for me, and I changed into my bathing suit (I was a little shy being naked around mine and Jake's moms. It just didn't feel necessary). The warm water felt awesome on my back and legs. The jets hit in all the right spots, but once a contraction came on, the water seemed to make things worse. The heat from the water made my face hot, and each time I tried to breath through the contractions, I felt like I was going to be sick. (at this time, my contractions were hitting in the '10' range. Which the monitor only measured to '12'.) Jake had been doing so well with trying to comfort me and reminding me to relax and breathe during the contractions, but the pain was so bad I couldn't do it anymore. I know I had initially wanted to go through labor without any pain medication, but I couldn't stand it anymore. I wanted...no, NEEDED the epidural. I got out of the tub and asked the nurse to get things ready for that.
12:00 p.m.
The anesthesiologist finally arrived with everything he needed to relieve my pain. Luckily I was still able to get it. The nurse had checked me prior, and I was dilated to 4 cm.
The nurse raised the bed and had me sit on the edge of the bed, with Jake sitting in front of me. I put my feet on his knees to balance, and the nurse had me put a pillow on my lap, and had my curl myself forward over it. The needle the anesthesiologist was using to insert the catheter into my spine to continuously release the epidural medication was a lot larger than I would have liked. I won't describe the size, but just the fact that he had to poke and prod me six or seven times in order to get the right placement, should give you a good idea of how unendurable life was for me at that moment. My contractions were spiking into the '12' range, so that in conjunction with being stabbed in the spine with a large needle multiple times, does not make for an enjoyable moment. I kept reminding myself to breathe, and tried so hard to fight back tears. I caught myself practically moaning from pain a few times, which I promised myself I was not going to do, but I realized at that point in time, it was uncontrollable. During the midst of this, I caught a glimpse of my mom and Jake's mom in the corner of the room, kneeling on the floor, both looking a little green. As they like to say, they were doing the "Tebow".
Shortly after the catheter was finally in place, snugly between my vertebrae, a tingling sensation came over the lower half of my body and I felt no pain. I felt pressure from the contractions and was able to move my legs (though they felt extremely heavy), but I didn't have any of the 'paralyzing' feelings that I had read about so many women experiencing from their epidurals. After that, I no longer felt the pain of my contractions, and was able to sit back, relax, and happily sip my apple juice.
12:30 p.m.
My dad finally arrived! And Jake's sister Bailey and her boyfriend Xanti, stepdad, Dave, and Jake's brother Cole and his girlfriend Summer stopped by to say hi and see how things were progressing! Luckily, I was in no pain. My dad wouldn't have handled that well at all! Everyone was kind of in and out of the room at this point getting food, walking the halls and just keeping themselves entertained as we waited.
3:00 p.m.
We were all pretty curious to see how much I had progressed in the last couple hours since the monitor showed my contractions were getting more and more intense, lasting for longer periods of time, and occurring fairly close together. I called the nurse in, she checked me and I was dilated to 9 1/2! Everyone was surprised, as was the nurse! She told me that if I felt more pressure, to call her back in because I could be ready to push soon!
A male nurse that was helping my nurses out, put in his 'two cents' and said that it could be an hour or so before that last 1/2 cm dilate, and another 2 hours of pushing before Caige would be here. Boy, were his statistics clearly not suitable for me. I was fully dilated about 3 minutes later.
3:30 p.m.
My main nurse, Allison, set up my bed for me to start pushing. My doctor had been paged, letting her know that I was ready to push, but that I wasn't close to crowning, so she was on standby. The only people who remained in the room during this time was my mom and dad, Jake and his mom. Allison had Jake stand on the left side of the bed, holding my left leg, and mom was on the right side, with my right leg. The plan was for me to push during my contractions, 3-10 second long pushing intervals, with Jake and my mom simultaneously pushing my knees into my chest. (The awesome thing about my epidural, was I still have the urge to push. I felt everything, except the pain!)
We did these pushing intervals for a good 5-10 minutes or so, and then she immediately told me to stop! Caige was coming a lot faster than we anyone would have guessed, and she needed to page Dr. Fealko to come up right away! The baby was coming, and he wasn't slowing down!
Dr. Fealko arrived 2 minutes later and our pushing commenced. She sat at the foot of the bed, ready to catch Caige and intervene at any moment if she needed to. I could feel him drop lower and lower into the birth canal, and the pressure increased very quickly. It didn't hurt, but I could only imagine the pain I would have felt if I wouldn't have gotten the epidural. Allison was busy behind Dr. Fealko, setting up a sterile station to clean Caige up on after he came out. She was bustling around, counting for me as I pushed, once in a while adding in a 4th, 8 second push in with the normal 3 we were doing.
At one point, Caige's heart rate started to drop, I stopped pushing so Dr. Fealko could monitor it for a minute, but we started right back up.
Next thing I know, while in between pushing intervals, Dr, Fealko smiles at me and says, "He sure does have a lot of hair! Do you want to feel him?" Apparently, he was visible! She told me that his hair could wrap around her finger, as she massaged me to help prevent any tearing from happening as he came out. I declined to reach down and feel him. My hands were locked tightly behind my knees and I was in the zone. I was so focused on my breathing, and pushing, that I couldn't lose focus.
3:57 p.m.
I started pushing again, this time with the 4th interval added, and Caige's head was out! I kept pushing as hard as I could, and Dr. Fealko grabbed his head and told me to look down. His little face was blue (from not being exposed to oxygen, and with one big push, she pulled him out. She quickly unwrapped the umbilical cord from his neck (which was the reason his heart rate had dropped slightly while I was pushing), and cleaned out his mouth and nose so he could take his first breaths. He started to cry. The most beautiful cry I had ever heard. I couldn't help myself, but I bawled. Everyone in the room cried (except hospital staff). Dr. Fealko placed him on my chest, and as she cleaned him she said "Happy Birthday!", and for some reason, her saying that made me cry even more. This gorgeous child, who I had the honor of carrying for 9 months, was mine. I looked at Jake, he had tears in his eyes. He kissed Caige's head, then leaned over and kissed my forehead. This was what we had been waiting for. I have an awesome man by my side, and now a beautiful son to care for, teach, and watch grow.
Caige Daniel Smith
February 11, 2012
3:57 p.m.
Weight: 8 lbs 5 oz
Length: 20 1/4 in
(all of these pictures were taken in the hospital)
I do have the video of his birth that I could post (it's a 15 minute video), and it doesn't show anything graphic or disgusting. If my wonderful readers would like, I'd be more than happy to post it.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Punctuality
For those of you who know me (and I mean REALLY know me), know that I am not the most punctual person. 9 times out of 10 you can count on me being late. And obviously little Caige is taking after his momma already. He doesn't want to come out, and my body doesn't want to get "rid of him". (I know that sounds harsh, but c'mon. I'm ready to evict the little guy!)
Every appointment since they started checking my dilation progress, it's been a slow process. My last two checks, I've only been dilated to a 2. A 2?! Really?! I can't help but feel some sort of frustration and disappointment because I want the excitement of my water breaking, or timing contractions until they're steadily 5 minutes apart. But I read an article that said only about 15% of pregnant women actually experience their water breaking naturally. All other times, it's the doctor who will do it. Bummer. But, luckily my doctor is understanding and has been super supportive of me really wanting to just have Caige already. She doesn't want me going too far past my due date which I am eternally grateful for, because I'm so uncomfortable and tired it's not enjoyable anymore. I hate complaining, and I know every woman who's experienced the wonderful gift we have of bearing children, can sympathize, but it still sucks.
Anyways, we set my induction date for this coming Saturday, February 11th at 7am. That is going to be the earliest Saturday morning of my life. We'll have to check in to St. Luke's downtown about 6:30 am. Not a big deal though. Setting up for me to be induced is actually a relief. I feel like I can see the finish line. Honestly, before we started talking about it, I felt like I was going to be pregnant forever. And poor Jake has to listen to my lame complaints and whining. And I hate whining/whiners. I'm typically the kind of person who will keep bothersome thoughts to myself, but I've hit my limit. And NOW I'm having all of the hormones I've missed out on during the rest of my pregnancy catch up with me. I seriously feel like I cry over everything now. It's almost a daily occurance and I feel like such a "girl". You all know how happy go lucky I am, so for me to suddenly tear up or just start bawling hysterically, is something I am not coping well with at all. I won't go into details about what things have been setting me off, but you can get the idea. Me and sad emotions just don't go well together.
I've been trying really hard to distract myself and keep myself busy at home. I've been cleaning like a freak. I have seriously run out of things to clean and organize. And I continuously go through baby clothes, folding them and putting them away by size, type, color...I have no idea why doing this over and over again is a good idea in my mind, but it relaxes me.
I just can't wait until I can actually take out one of those little outfits and dress that cute little boy in it. I can't wait to fight to get his little toes in his socks, and try to avoid being peed on while changing his diapers. I can't wait to hear him cry, to hear him breathe, to see him blink. I can't wait to feel the smoothness and smell the sweet fragrant smell of his newborn skin.
I can't wait to see the look on Jake's face when he holds his son for the first time. I can't wait to see the father/son bond that will grow as Caige grows. I can't wait to see him develop his motor skills and personality traits. I can't wait to see what color his eyes will be. Will they be blue like mine, or green like Jake's? (I'm hoping for green!). I can't wait to count his fingers and toes, to teach him how to eventually count, to teach him to walk and talk...I'm excited for all of it. Kissing "boo-boo's", checking for monsters in the closets, snuggling him when he's sick, when he's scared, and when he just wants the warmth, reassuring feeling of being held. It's all going to be so great. And I'm so lucky to have Jake by my side, every step of the way. I know how much he's wanted to be a dad, and I feel blessed to be the girl who gets to give him that gift. He's going to be such a wonderful and loving father. His excitement and the support he's given me and how selfless he is just concretes my confidence that he'll be the best.
So, four more days, my lovelies. Within the next four days, little man will be here, and our new journey will begin.
Every appointment since they started checking my dilation progress, it's been a slow process. My last two checks, I've only been dilated to a 2. A 2?! Really?! I can't help but feel some sort of frustration and disappointment because I want the excitement of my water breaking, or timing contractions until they're steadily 5 minutes apart. But I read an article that said only about 15% of pregnant women actually experience their water breaking naturally. All other times, it's the doctor who will do it. Bummer. But, luckily my doctor is understanding and has been super supportive of me really wanting to just have Caige already. She doesn't want me going too far past my due date which I am eternally grateful for, because I'm so uncomfortable and tired it's not enjoyable anymore. I hate complaining, and I know every woman who's experienced the wonderful gift we have of bearing children, can sympathize, but it still sucks.
Anyways, we set my induction date for this coming Saturday, February 11th at 7am. That is going to be the earliest Saturday morning of my life. We'll have to check in to St. Luke's downtown about 6:30 am. Not a big deal though. Setting up for me to be induced is actually a relief. I feel like I can see the finish line. Honestly, before we started talking about it, I felt like I was going to be pregnant forever. And poor Jake has to listen to my lame complaints and whining. And I hate whining/whiners. I'm typically the kind of person who will keep bothersome thoughts to myself, but I've hit my limit. And NOW I'm having all of the hormones I've missed out on during the rest of my pregnancy catch up with me. I seriously feel like I cry over everything now. It's almost a daily occurance and I feel like such a "girl". You all know how happy go lucky I am, so for me to suddenly tear up or just start bawling hysterically, is something I am not coping well with at all. I won't go into details about what things have been setting me off, but you can get the idea. Me and sad emotions just don't go well together.
I've been trying really hard to distract myself and keep myself busy at home. I've been cleaning like a freak. I have seriously run out of things to clean and organize. And I continuously go through baby clothes, folding them and putting them away by size, type, color...I have no idea why doing this over and over again is a good idea in my mind, but it relaxes me.
I just can't wait until I can actually take out one of those little outfits and dress that cute little boy in it. I can't wait to fight to get his little toes in his socks, and try to avoid being peed on while changing his diapers. I can't wait to hear him cry, to hear him breathe, to see him blink. I can't wait to feel the smoothness and smell the sweet fragrant smell of his newborn skin.
I can't wait to see the look on Jake's face when he holds his son for the first time. I can't wait to see the father/son bond that will grow as Caige grows. I can't wait to see him develop his motor skills and personality traits. I can't wait to see what color his eyes will be. Will they be blue like mine, or green like Jake's? (I'm hoping for green!). I can't wait to count his fingers and toes, to teach him how to eventually count, to teach him to walk and talk...I'm excited for all of it. Kissing "boo-boo's", checking for monsters in the closets, snuggling him when he's sick, when he's scared, and when he just wants the warmth, reassuring feeling of being held. It's all going to be so great. And I'm so lucky to have Jake by my side, every step of the way. I know how much he's wanted to be a dad, and I feel blessed to be the girl who gets to give him that gift. He's going to be such a wonderful and loving father. His excitement and the support he's given me and how selfless he is just concretes my confidence that he'll be the best.
So, four more days, my lovelies. Within the next four days, little man will be here, and our new journey will begin.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
39 Weeks...Baby, where are you?
I seriously suck at keeping up with this blog, and I know it's going to be harder once Baby Caige is actually here, but here's a little update on what's been happening lately!
I'm officially 39 weeks now. My doctor said we are doing great, and then brought up to topic of possibly being induced because I have about a week until my due date. Naturally, I'm a little bummed out because I was hoping to experience the whole "middle of the night" scenario of waking up Jake in excitement yelling "it's time!". Granted, we still have time for that to happen, but at this rate, I don't want to get my hopes up.
(Sorry if this gets a little too detailed...or graphic).
My doctor stretched out my cervix on Friday an extra 1/2 centimeter. I was still at 1 1/2 cm dilated at the appointment, and she asked if I still wanted my membrane stripped, which just basically means that she stretched out the cervix, and separated the bags of fluid in my uterus. She said with this, there is a high possibility I could go into labor within the next 48 hours, or it will just give me more contractions throughout the next week. So far, just contractions. But we will see what happens.
This next week I am trying my hardest to just relax, and enjoy my time. Which everyone and their mom has told me to enjoy these last few days, but quite honestly, I hate hearing that. Yes, I know the last month of pregnancy sucks, and you get to the point of being impatient. Yes, I'm impatient, and so is Jake.
Speaking of Jake, he has been so wonderful these last few weeks. Actually, he's been great through this whole thing, but lately he's been so understanding and helpful with everything. As many of you know, I absolutely hate asking for help. But of course, for my safety and for Caige's as well, I've had to ask him for loads of help. Everything from carrying laundry for me up and down the stairs, to tying my shoes for me. And he can even sense at night when I'm in pain ( because I've had quite a bit of back pain lately), he'll reach over, in the middle of the night, and give me a back rub, enough to relax me and help me fall back asleep. I honestly have no idea what I would do without him. He makes everything so much easier to deal with, and he makes it worth suffering through. My pregnancy hasn't been too hard, but when you're constantly tired and dealing with sore muscles and swollen feet, hormones all imbalanced, everything seems to be worse than it is. Which I know I've blown quite a few things out of proportion, but hey. Can you blame me?
---
I am proud to say, that I have officially finished my first course of college. And what a pain that was. I passed my class with an 85%, which I know I could have done better, but being pregnant and completely mindless, I'll take the 'B'.
That's all for now. Hopefully the next thing I post is an announcement of our little boy finally coming out of hiding! :)
I'm officially 39 weeks now. My doctor said we are doing great, and then brought up to topic of possibly being induced because I have about a week until my due date. Naturally, I'm a little bummed out because I was hoping to experience the whole "middle of the night" scenario of waking up Jake in excitement yelling "it's time!". Granted, we still have time for that to happen, but at this rate, I don't want to get my hopes up.
(Sorry if this gets a little too detailed...or graphic).
My doctor stretched out my cervix on Friday an extra 1/2 centimeter. I was still at 1 1/2 cm dilated at the appointment, and she asked if I still wanted my membrane stripped, which just basically means that she stretched out the cervix, and separated the bags of fluid in my uterus. She said with this, there is a high possibility I could go into labor within the next 48 hours, or it will just give me more contractions throughout the next week. So far, just contractions. But we will see what happens.
This next week I am trying my hardest to just relax, and enjoy my time. Which everyone and their mom has told me to enjoy these last few days, but quite honestly, I hate hearing that. Yes, I know the last month of pregnancy sucks, and you get to the point of being impatient. Yes, I'm impatient, and so is Jake.
Speaking of Jake, he has been so wonderful these last few weeks. Actually, he's been great through this whole thing, but lately he's been so understanding and helpful with everything. As many of you know, I absolutely hate asking for help. But of course, for my safety and for Caige's as well, I've had to ask him for loads of help. Everything from carrying laundry for me up and down the stairs, to tying my shoes for me. And he can even sense at night when I'm in pain ( because I've had quite a bit of back pain lately), he'll reach over, in the middle of the night, and give me a back rub, enough to relax me and help me fall back asleep. I honestly have no idea what I would do without him. He makes everything so much easier to deal with, and he makes it worth suffering through. My pregnancy hasn't been too hard, but when you're constantly tired and dealing with sore muscles and swollen feet, hormones all imbalanced, everything seems to be worse than it is. Which I know I've blown quite a few things out of proportion, but hey. Can you blame me?
---
I am proud to say, that I have officially finished my first course of college. And what a pain that was. I passed my class with an 85%, which I know I could have done better, but being pregnant and completely mindless, I'll take the 'B'.
That's all for now. Hopefully the next thing I post is an announcement of our little boy finally coming out of hiding! :)
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